Perfect, Whole & Complete

I reviewed the Landmark Forum this past weekend. It was a pretty awesome experience, and I let go of a lot of little petty things that were bothering me in my day to day life. One of the things I went in to “work on” is my relationship to health and fitness. I’ve struggled for years with this feeling of not being fit enough, not doing enough, not eating well enough, and the impact smoking has had on me on and off.

Something I saw this weekend was that for me, it’s never enough. No matter how much I work out, no matter how good my diet is, it’s never enough. I have the “perfect” week where my diet is good, and I get to the gym 4 or 5 times, and for a second I feel good about myself. Then the next week I have some ice cream, or go to the gym two times, and I feel like a failure. At some point in my life I decided that I was a failure, and then what happens is I’m just waiting to fail. What I saw is actually how good I’ve been doing with my diet and fitness the last 2 years. I have gone to the gym pretty consistently, at a minimum of twice a week for quite some time now, and it shows. Sure, I’d still like to lose those 10lbs. But I haven’t failed if I don’t. I take whatever actions I can take today. My weight is good. My muscle tone is good. My diet is pretty healthy. I went from smoking 10 cigarettes a day to 2 or 3. I’m willing to give up that I really “need” those 2 or 3 cigarettes. I may crave them, but I certainly don’t need them. And I’m willing to accept that I’m perfect, whole and complete exactly as I am today. I love my body the way it is, and the way it isn’t.

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